Celebrate A Simple Life

Glimpses into the Riley life through Ellen's eyes

Happy People October 24, 2009

Filed under: adoption,life,pictures — Ellie @ 7:51 pm

“So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.” Genesis 29:20

Emma & Tyler

(hopefully Jessica will get some good pictures this weekend!)

*Some people are probably glad that daddy doesn’t have the seven year son-in-law requirement like Laban did ;-)

 

You can tell who’s daughter she is June 23, 2009

Filed under: adoption — Ellie @ 10:28 pm

For those of you who don’t know and haven’t guessed, Josiah was adopted.

And when you look at a picture like this

mom 037

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 you can’t necessarily tell who’s son he is.

But when you look at this

john deere

 it becomes a bit more apparent.

You see, even though he does not have daddy’s genes, he’s his dad. He spends time with him. And somehow, he ends up LOVING tractors. Hmm… As children of God, if we spend time with our Father, we should start to look more and like our Beloved. Then would people start to say “you can tell Whose daughter she is, whose son he is”? Not because of our faces, not because of the shape of our noses, but because of our life- because we start to live like His children.

Just a thought (or so).

 

Adoption: January 29, 2009

Filed under: adoption,Christian living,quotes — Ellie @ 2:35 pm

“…They have made their faces harder than rock; they have refused to repent.” –Jeremiah 5:3

I was defiant.

 ”…All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” — Romans 3:23

I was disobedient.

“All we like sheep have gone astray…” —Isaiah 53:6

I was wayward.

“You have been rebellious against the Lord from the day that I knew you.” —Deuteronomy 10:24

I was rebellious.

 ”… Every fool will be quarreling.” —Proverbs 20:3

 I was argumentative.

 ”The heart is deceitful above all things…” —Jeremiah 17:9

I was deceitful.

 ”…Desolation and destruction are in their highways.” —Jeremiah 59:7

I was destructive.

“… by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind.” —Ephesians 2:3

 I was angry.

“Why is my pain unceasing, my wound uncurable, refusing to be healed?” —Jeremiah 15:18

I was broken.

————————————————

 ”For you did not recieve the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have recieved the spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’”— Romans 8:15

Yet He adopted me.

“And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘know the Lord,’ for they shall all know Me… ” —Jeremiah 31:34

 He made Himself known to me.

“…For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” —Jeremiah 31:34

 He forgave me and forgot all that had come before.

 ”… I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” —John 10:10

 And He gave me life abundant.

————————————————

 ”For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you…” —John 13:15

———–

“Whoever recieves one such child in my name recieves me.” Matthew —18:5

 

ADOPTION NEWS!!! December 29, 2008

Filed under: adoption,Holiday,JOSIAH!,Mercy,pictures,prayer request — Ellie @ 8:32 pm

Yeah, I know. After the post on Momma’s blog, this joke is getting a little old. That’s what I’ve been feeling like lately too, it’s geting old. Somehow, it seems even MORE urgent this time around– maybe because I know that probably right now, my little siblings are born & growing older every day- alone. Sometimes we wish we could have everything our way, you know. But we can’t. Because of the curcumstances God has placed our family in, we cannot even begin to work toward having our little ones home. This is where we have to grow- grow to trust God better, trust that He will open those gates in His timing if it is His will for us to do this thing.

So here we are again, much like this time a year ago, and that is the theme of this post- the waiting part of adoption. It isn’t easy. It is so hard, so hard. Now, we’re just waiting to wait- which is extra trying. It will probably be a while before I’ll be posting any news here. I’m waiting for news too.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

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About Josiah’s adoption– pray that we will be able to finalise in February as planned.

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pretty

Mercy before the feast

fam

What would have been on our cards if we had taken it on time

japen siah

Jake & Josiah having a brother moment

merky

add your own caption

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(the pitures in earliers post were a few from our family christmas feast & one of Annie, Jake & Mercy)

 

So… what now??? December 17, 2008

Filed under: adoption,pictures — Ellie @ 4:16 pm

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They’re waiting for a cure no one can find…

 

I saw the face of Jesus in a little orphan girl
She was standing in the corner on the other side of the world
And I heard the voice of Jesus gently whisper to my heart
Didn’t you say you wanted to find me?
Well here I am, here you are

So, What now?
What will you do now that you found Me?
What now?
What will you do with this treasure you’ve found?
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you remember this is right where I said I would be
You’ve found me
What now?…..

(Steven Curtis Chapman Yours & What Now?)

 

100_3141joe

 

Gates December 12, 2008

Filed under: adoption,disconnected thoughts,faith — Ellie @ 6:32 pm

There are so many gates between us and our adoption dreams. So many great, strong, relentless gates. Like great blundering fools, we keep trying to climb over all those gates— but we can’t. They’re great, tall gates & there is nothing to grip as we climb- we get a bit of the ways up, then slid back down lower (farther for our goal) than we even were before. We CAN’T get over even the first gate. So we think, humm, lets go underneath. We flatten ourselves like a pancake but we can’t get under; there is not a hairsbreadth between the bottom of the gate & the ground. Humm… willpower, will power will do it- but it won’t work, we are held back just like before. Finally we gather all together, we aim to test our combined strength against that of this first gate- there are, after all, twelve of us. We push and we heave until one by one we are exausted & lie panting on the ground, no more likely to overcome that gate than to drink all the water in the ocean. We begin to cry. Nothing will work. We were foolish. It can’t be done. No, no, we cannot do it.It is well for us, well for our adoption dreams, that we serve the God who holds the keys to every one of those gates. It is well that we can trust him to open those gates when— and if— he sees fit.

So that is where we were, must like we were in March when I wrote this:

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Lately, Mercy has been learning the meaning of the word “Wait”- and it’s high time. She used to tell you she wants something, and if you didn’t respond immediately she would repeat that she WANTS something. We knew we had to ‘nip this is in the bud’, but it wasn’t until a little later that we decided to teach her about “wait”. She started repeating a request 72 million times at a speed that would make a NASCAR driver dizzy until the required object is in her hand (example: Mercy is ready for bed and has an urge to have a goodnight drink of milk from her bottle. She cries out “Mo-Mo wan’ da’ ba-ba, wan’ da’ ba-ba, wan’ da’ ba-ba, PEEEEEASE, Mo-Mo wan’ da’ ba-ba, wan’ da’ ba-ba…”). It is mostly at these times that we say the new word- and usually she is quiet and patient for a few minutes after being told to wait. Of course, there are times when she needs more correction than one simple word (these times are most frequent at the grocery store, during Church or at some other dreadfully inconvenient place).

The theme of waiting has been very common around here- waiting for documents to come, waiting to hear back from the grant organisation, waiting for “The Call” which we don’t know when to expect…

So what do you do when you are told to “wait”? I find I am prone, like Mercy, to call out my request in a louder, more I’m-seriously-about-to-throw-a-huge-fit voice. I think “the only reason there could be that God has not answer my prayer the way I wanted Him to, when I wanted Him to is that He didn’t hear me, or, He didn’t think I was serious.” So I go into bratty two-year-old mode and I say “Do what I want, and do it RIGHT NOW“- but I find that it doesn’t work. It seems to work out way better to just be quiet- then, I can hear Him when He tells me:

May I wait, that it may be true of me “I waited patiently for the LORD, and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry.”"…For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Then shall you call on me, and you shall go and pray to me, and I will hearken to you. And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all your heart…”

It might be seventy years, but He will not forget us (even when it seems like He has).

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee on the palms of my hands, thy walks are continuously before me…”

“Sing, o heavens; and be joyful, o earth; and break forth into singing, o mountains; for the Lord has comforted His people, and will have mercy upon His afflicted.

But Zion said, ‘the LORD hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me.

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee on the palms of my hands, thy walks are continuously before me…”

May I wait, that it may be true of me “I waited patiently for the LORD, and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry.”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And that is where we are right now. As of yet God has not closed what gates are open & right now we are just waiting, waiting for Him to unlock all those gates & set us free to run, run until we hold our little ones in our arms. It seems to me that he is saying, didn’t you hear my call? Did you not say you would follow? Will you not sacrifice to gain what I have planned for you?

Will we not sacrifice? Will I not sacrifice? When I said I would follow to where ever, what did I mean by that? What were my conditions? Where did I think “where ever you lead” ended?

All of this and more is surging through my heart. We can’t always have what we’re so keenly longing for just when we want it. Sometimes it requires sacrifice so profound that before, we thought it wouldn’t be possible. We are not a patient people, are we? We are not a sacrificing people at all. We must lean on Christ our strength. I find that I am continually drawing… it is well that that well never runs dry- that his people do not come to him, & find we must leave again lacking.

Wait, my daughter

“Take heed, and be quiet; fear not, neither be fainthearted.- Be still, and know that I am God.- did I not say to you that if you believed you should see the kingdom of God?- … Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him…” (this is a compilation of scriptures taken from Daily Light. This is part of the November 4th)

~Ellie

(for those who do not already know this, adoption has a tendency to go ways you didn’t expect it to go)

 

The Impossible In Adoption December 2, 2008

Filed under: adoption,faith,life — Ellie @ 5:10 pm

What are the chances?: While I was writing this- at the very same time- Momma was on the desktop writing a post on HER blog. What do you know- it’s called “The Glory Of The Impossible”. It’s really good, so I’m going to give her a link- http://blessedchaos.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/the-glory-of-the-impossible/. And now-

It tends to happen this way, doesn’t it? Life, I mean- not just in adoption, though that is the subject I am thinking of today. We wonder how it can ever happen, and then we feel a breeze, our hearts beat faster & we turn around to look- that’s when we see that it just DID happen, and we didn’t notice. We only keep our eyes half-open, and so when miracles occur, we don’t see them- then we pretend to be philisophical, and say to people in essence “sure God can do miracles. He’s just not so inclined to do them as He used to be.” Everywhere around us the impossible is done- but we just say “oh that. Think nothing of it, anyone could have pulled it off.” We chuckle inwardly, knowing that just anyone really couldn’t, it was only because we were strong enough to manage such a crazy-impossible task.

Things tend to get confused in our minds after they happen, our memories dullen and we remember them differently than they really were. Before Josiah came home, we shook our heads. “Not us,” we said “We couldn’t adopt.” We probably would have left it at that, if it were not for some friends who didn’t take that for an answer. As it turned out, though, we couldn’t adopt. We just were not the right kind of family; didn’t have the right kind of income; didn’t have the right kind of lifestyle. We couldn’t do it. But we serve a God who can, and did. We serve a God who took us to the right people at the right times, who gave us just what we needed it, exactly when we needed it- regardless of what we thought could happen, or what our timing was. Time & time again He took of out of the realm of possiblity into a places which are unreachable by human efforts. We didn’t always notice it, because those places didn’t seem quite so out of reach when we were there- but they were, they had been out of our reach until God put us there. Looking back, too, we tend to forget anything really miraclous about Josiah’s story. Just another out of a thousand like it- but it is not. Right now is one of those rare moments when I can look back & see that we are no more in a position to take the credit for how he came to us than we are to blush when someone speaks of the beauty of creation. It is as absurd to think that we made it happen as it would be to pretend we make the sun rise & set.

Even now as the early thoughts of another adoption come to our minds, doubts creep into our hearts. We try not to think about it too hard, because you know, we probably won’t be able to pull off another adoption. Now I’m not being naive, and I am well aware that it is not likely to happen just the same this time. I know that God’s plans might well be diffent than the ones we’re thinking of right now- but right now, a peace is on me that no matter what He has in store for our family, He always seems to have planned it better than we did. It’s good to know. We think that this time around, it will be impossibler. Too impossible for God. But it won’t be. It don’t want to give the impression that I believe if is doesn’t happen the way we are tending to think that it will mean it was somehow too much for Him- what I’m trying to say is, we thought the same thing about Josiah- and look! Impossible isn’t as impossible as it once seemed. It’s happening everywhere.

P.S.- Keep your eyes open- you may be about to see the impossible happen here… you never know.

 

November 27, 2008

Filed under: adoption,disconnected thoughts,Holiday,life — Ellie @ 9:30 pm
Here we are- the end of another great holiday. I had a long post planned out & DID not expect to post tonight. But here I am- I have TIME for the post, but as it turns out I just don’t have the energy to write it. As we all end a day spent with family & friends, we must remember those who are just a little bit alone this year. I am NOT a fan of Third Day: to me, it’s ‘Jacob’s music”- however, this song is the exception. It was written by one of the band members when Christmas rolled around again & they still didn’t have a travel date to pick up their child (in China). We need to remember the families who have children ‘somewhere else’ & were just not able to fly in time for the holidays- wether those families have a picture & a name of their child already, or maybe their child(ren) are just a dream in the hearts that they know will be coming (and maybe no one else knows yet). No matter where ‘they’ are in the process, it hurts when you have family-type gatherings & you know that there are child(ren) who are yours & they’re somewhere else, not with you, maybe crying, maybe laughing but you’re not there- you’re missing that. This time last year, Josiah was growing in his birthmom’s tummy and the dream of him was 5 days old (on the twenty-seventh) in our hearts. I know this has turned into a crazy rambling post which probably isn’t going anywhere, but I guess what I basically wanted to say is; everybody out there (you know who you are) who are wondering how long it will be until the child your heart has grown to love will be with you- one thing I learn through Josiah adoption is that it never goes fast enough. But I also learned that even if you don’t see it, God has a purpose in everything He does, and His will can never change. If God has a child for you, He will bring them to you in His perfect timing.
There is so much more I meant to post & I don’t think that turned out making much sense ^ I guess what I’m trying to say is, hold on to Him. ‘He knows the plans He has for you, plans of good & not of evil, to give you a future & a hope.’ He who promised is faithful to fulfill His promise.

It’s Christmas time again but you’re not home
Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

 

On Adoption pt 4 October 23, 2008

Filed under: adoption,faith,JOSIAH! — Ellie @ 4:23 pm
this is my attempt at telling Josiah’s story… in a sketchy, not very thought out sort of way. Maybe later I’ll try again.

Josiah’s Story

For years and years, my family liked the thought of adoption more than we liked the idea of actually doing it. Before Mercy was born, we came very close to adopting but we didn’t. We didn’t. I think that happens to alot of people…

About a year ago Momma went through & cleaned out all the old baby stuff. She said it made her a little sad but she was also excited about the ‘next chapter’ (we always find ourselves thinking in terms of books around here). After that, we didn’t have ANYTHING left. We assumed Mercy would be the youngest & so we wouldn’t need any of that stuff anymore… Then God spoke to Momma & Dad’s (and all of our) hearts, ‘begining’ with Isaac (the son of a family we know). Shortly after the Mathenia’s brought this wonderful boy home we had their family over to supper, and that was one of the last times we had Mrs. Amber over to our house. It is so strange to think how God used that one Sunday afternoon to change our lives for ever & ever. It is strange to wonder, if we had not had them over, wether we ever would have adopted at all? You never know when God is using you. Make the most of every opportunity. God used Mr. Anthony & Mrs. Amber (and sweet Ellie & Isaac) in an amazing way that day to change our family’s veiw on Adoption- and I didn’t have to wait until Monday when Momma called Life Choices for the first time (‘just for some imformation’) to see what was happening in Momma & Dad’s heads.

We did not find out what people meant when they talked about waiting at first. We recieved our initial paperwork from Life Choices & Momma & Dad started working on filling it out- there is ALOT they want you to do! And we began our homestudy- our first visit was the 17th of January. We had to have all sorts of medical things (tests, exams, be sure no one has TB, so on and so on), Momma & Dad had to write seperate bio’s and fill out about 75 million pages of paper work, and on, and on.

Some opposition came & stung our hearts, but it could not undo what God had done in us. Our enthusiasium could not be quenched. During the first few months, Mrs. Amber always had words us encouragement… but after God took her home, it suddenly felt like all of our support was ripped away. It felt like we were alone, like no one was left who ‘approved’ of us adopting a child. When we realised what we had lost in Mrs. Amber, we almost let ourselves believe that no one else in the world cared in a positive way about adoption. It hurt, and (I can only speak for what my heart felt) honestly if it were not for God, who came & filled that hole, I do not know if Josiah would ever have come. I wrote in Josiah’s book (which I kept for him throughout his adoption) after Mrs. Amber died: “In my human mind, this was not supposed to happen. Mrs. Amber was suppsed to appear in these pages, her smile was supposed to encourage us on our adoption journey. … She was supposed to someday hold our baby like we held Isaac [when he first came]. … Help me to trust You, God! … ” and later: “[we are] feeling a bit alone right now… God gave us one person who [we knew] was truly supportive, who never failed to ask what was going on, who answered questions and she seemed like the person who really even cared … and then took her back away from us… I will never forget the emcouragement we recieved from [them] those first few months. … I guess we should not expect everyone to want to talk about our adoption [all the time], but still… it seems as though we don’t have anyones support… but I know it’s not that way… …” Then I talked about some specific ways how God seemed to send encouragement- begining with a specific thing that happened the Sunday night following Mrs. Amber’s going Home. We foud that God would not have us relying on Mrs. Amber’s support. We were to trust Him fully. He was our support, as we found when we leaned on Him. Mrs. Amber was not the center of our adoption story. God was, and we were made to remember it again.

Meanwhile, we were continuing to head toward a new child slowly but surely. Slowly, because we could only move forward as the funds were provided- but surely, because God always provided.

It was the beginning of March when ‘the’ call first came. We did not have a completed homestudy & had not yet submitted out Adoption application to Life Choices when we first recieved a call about a baby girl, who they asked us to pray about. She had several health risks (her birthfamily had a history of mental illnesses) and they wanted to know if Momma & Dad would consider her. We knew that we didn’t even have the money yet to finish our homestudy & we sure didn’t have the placement fee, but after some prayer Momma called J and told her we would be 100% willing to be a potential ‘Baby Girl #1′ family if we could somehow make it work- somehow raise the money in time. That was when Momma asked J when the baby was due, and found out it was March 3- the day before. It was so hard to hear that & to think that there was such a slim chance of us ever being a potiential family for this baby who we firmly believed would be perfectly wonderful no matter what. Momma & Dad had to tell J that we were not ready. The rest of the month of March slipped by. We were working on raising funds & continuing slowly to move forward inch by inch- including finishing our homestudy.

It was April 1st when I wrote in Josiah’s book: “we find that there was a mix-up, and Baby Girl #1 is not due until May 3, which means we could still be a potential family for her…” This news was so energizing. We went ahead & bought a carseat in order to be ready just in case. We sent in the application & got ‘officially’ approved. We kept working on fundraising. It is a long story (which I won’t to go into), but we knew that if we could just get one more document, we could file ammended tax returns & get back more than enough to pay the placement fee. Momma kept trying to push that through faster. We had thought before that the baby would be a boy but suddenly everyone had a ‘gut feeling’ that it was a girl. A few entrys later in Josiah’s book “We got [the document] today!!! … Yes! we are now a Baby Girl #1 potetial family!…” Birthmom was sceduled to have the baby on the 29th. I remember how long it seemed to take for that day to arrive. Sometime during those weeks was when I first fell in love with this baby. Strange how that could happen when ‘she’ was not even born yet. Finally the day arrived. I am sure it must have been rather comical, all of us sitting around all day staring at the phone. Of course the baby was born safely, and as I suspect you have all guessed it was not Baby Girl at all- it was Josiah. Not that weknew that at the time- we did not even find out he was a boy until two days after. So- now that I look back at the dates, it was only May 7th when Josiah’s birthmom first looked and the profiles, but you must understand- to us, those 8 days could not possibly be longer. J and birthmom’s counselor dropped the profile books- ours & another- by birthmom’s house at 9:00 on the 7, but it was not until the 14th that we found out who would be Josiah’s family. If we thought the first week after Josiah’s birth was long, this was way longer. We had kept a copy of our profile book here, and that book got looked at more times that one week than all the rest of its life put together- I guess we just wanted to remind ourselves what she was lookig at.

While we could not have been more excited about the possibility of having the priviledge of becoming the family of this sweet boy, our hearts hurt for birthmom. We could only imagine the deep pain she & her young children were going through during those weeks. We had heard some about her from J and were so touched by what a sweet woman she seemed to be, and how much she loved this little baby who (we did not know yet) would soon become ours.

At 2:29 on the 14 of May I wrote in Josiah’s book- in very bad hand which I can barely make out now-: “Mommas on the phone in her room w/ J right now and I think- I dont want to say what I think- Oh! Thank you so much God! What a kind father you are!…” You see, I had heard Momma’s end when she answered the phone (naughty Ellen to evesdrop so!) and I had heard her say “What?…” “No, tell me…” “Tell Me!!!…” “[undescribable gasp/sucking in of air sound]” “oh my gosh you’re joking!”, which Momma says is not what she would have planned to say. As soon as Momma got off the phone she called Daddy at work & then there was a shocked moment of wondering who to call now. Momma said what I was thinking – that there was that unspoken plan to call Mrs. Amber- and we couldn’t. That was a very hard moment. Finally Momma started dialing & it took off from there. We got an email from Josiah’s foster mom with our first pictures of him. This is the first of him we saw:

this is the first pic we saw of him

this is the first pic we saw of him

 

 

After that came a very long month of ups & downs & terrible longing for Josiah to come home.That was by far the hardest part- the waiting, the knowing that Josiah was growing every day living with another family, the emptiness, the longing to have him- the knowledge that sometimes he cried, and we could not comfort him.

Then came June 9th. This is what I wrote in his book: “[June 10th, 2008] The ups & downs of these last days have been a little bit much for me to write about- and so I have not been here in a time.

Things often don’t seem to go the way we planned them. In our plans, Josiah would have been with us a month or so ago when we wanted him so keenly. I still wonder, why? Why did God not bring him then? But I know, and am persuaded, that Gods perfect plan was for Josiah & us to be apart for that time… I know that patience worketh godliness… and I know that now, when prince Josiah is here with us, it doesn’t matter anymore. Yestreday was placement…”

I told about placement, but I’ll spare all the details here. Josiah coming home was not the end of his story, but it is all I can tell now. It was several more months of ups & downs & wondering (as I mentioned in part 2) if they did re-pos before the money finally came & we paid the ‘placement’ fee. Now there are the legal fees for the finalization in Dec. & his adoption will be something in the past. We are already wondering where the money to pay for that will come from. Haven’t we learned yet that God always provides? I cannot thank everyone enough: our friends who rallied around us, supported us, and helped bring Josiah home. You were some of Gods hands & feet in Josiahs story, the Mathenia family who God used in such a real & visible way to bring Josiah to us, and our great and Kind Father, who is so kind to His children- He is the one who provided everything we needed. He is the one who holds us up in the hard times & brings us to rivers of Joy. He is the one who blessed us beyond measure by putting this wonderful boy in our arms.

More Recently
More Recently

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Josiah is absolutely the sweetest baby on earth. I could never imagine living a better life here than the life God has blessed me to have. I cannot imagine any child more perfect for our family than Josiah. It makes me sad to think about all the people who miss out on so many wonderful children because they are ‘afraid of what it will do to their family’. When did a blessing become something to be afraid of? When did children become something to avoid? When did this happen?

Every day of our lives, Josiah adds that much extra Joy- and as Dr. Voddie Baucham said once referring to his (adopted) children “actually, there is this bonus BECAUSE they are adopted, because they joined our family the way we became a part of God’s family…”*** As I read back over what I have written, I realise that there is so much more that I forgot to put in- so many parts of Josiahs story that I forgot to put in. Maybe someday I will rewrite it, but for now this will have to do.

***I do not remember the exact quote & can’t look it up ’cause the DVD is at the Brandons. This is a paraphrase & I’m sure Dr. Baucham said it much better***

 

 

On Adoption pt. 3 October 20, 2008

Filed under: adoption,Christian living,JOSIAH! — Ellie @ 6:54 pm

Opposition

Okay… I have alot of experiance with this one, but not the time to really think out a post. Another short?

Most people who are adopting/ have adopted outside of their race are eventually going to run into someone who disagrees. Even if you are adoptiong a child who looks very much like you, you’re likely to meet disapproval somewhere. It might be someone who you couldn’t care less wether they approved or it could be someone who is very important to you. We had plenty of both to go around when people found out about Josiah. It was/is both very important people in our lives & somewhat minor and irrelevant people- it was both people who rejected/reject the idea/baby because of race & people who didn’t/don’t like adoption at all & people who simply thought/think we have too many children- as well as people who just didn’t understand. It was people who were very vocal and forceful about their disapproval & people who left us to figure it out & people who politely stated their concerns. We’ve been through it all- we even got used to it after awhile- but that didn’t make it ay easier- that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Racism is a terrible thing. It hurts so badly. It hurts to say goodbye — or never get the chance to say goodbye — to loved ones because of it. It hurts to know that while I live every day being incredibly blessed by children like Josiah & Ellie & Isaac & Phoebe & Isaiah who add so much Joy to my life, there are people who I love who make the chioce on a regular basis to refuse such blessings. Josiah is such a happy baby with a juicy smile which he bestows on anyone whenever he gets the chance. It hurts that there are people who will never know that smile or the wonderful boy who it comes from. It hurts. 

It is so hard when it seems like everyone is against your adoption & no one is for it. I have actually already started on part 4 and touch on this there as well, how God is on our side- and His approval way out-weighs everyone elses disapproval. I know, I understand that saying that does not make it any easier when you are in the middle of it. I know that you can know it in your head but it is much harder to really believe it when you feel overwelmed by the waves of opposition that seem to be coming & flooding your heart from all sides. It hurts so much. I know. When we follow God even when it seems crazy, people are bound to raise their eyebrows at it- and they do. But we are not to look for approval from those around us, and what people think of us is not who we are. We are the children of God, who adopted us, and what we should really be concerned about is whether He wants us doing it. If that is true, and we know it is true, then why does it still hurt so much? Ah-ha, the catch- love. When you love someone, you really, really want them to love you too- and even if you know that is does not matter, it usually does matter to you what they think. And it hurts. It cuts your heart. Sometimes it takes something like this to find out what that relationship really was. If it was real, if you really were bound together in Christian love, than it is probably going to take more than the bitter seeds of racism (or whatever) to kill that. We discovered that to be true in most cases, but I must also say that it is very, very few relationships that came out of this the same. Mrs. Amber said that it seemed to her like an opportunity for some friends/relations to grow, and it was- but very few did grow. Many, many relationships are not at all the same, and unless God works in these peoples hearts, never will be. There are people who were once a part of our lives & no longer are. And we love those people- that is what really hurts. That is why it stings- if there were no love, there would be no stinger in the wound- but there was love. When the opposition (which in some cases was expected & in some was foolishly unexpected) first came up, we went to God and cried “look God! are we really supposed to be doing this? They say we’re not!” and He told us “are you doing this for them? and, do you love them more than you love Me?” and He helped us. He helped us through the fire. He said “If I am for you, who can be against you?” He carried us.

God did not call us to live a comfortable life. He did not call us to do whatever was easiest. He called us to follow. Feel free to comment/ email if you are in the middle of this ‘hard part’ of adoption & need encouragement- or you might be better to contact Momma.

One more thing- I know if you are in the midst of it this is hard to remember (very hard), but after it’s all said & done;

 

this really is all worth it.

 

 
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