The Big + pt. 2 (links) October 29, 2009

O.K, so I’m FINALLY posting the second part on this subject… although those who didn’t know I even had a second part probably didn’t notice… hmm…

First, visit the websites of Project Hopeful, Ahope, and the some of the sites listed here. Go ahead, do it. Read There Is No Me Without You (((older readers))). Research HIV.

Did you do it? Now consider what you have read: HIV is not so easily transmitted nor so “scary” as you might have thought. Now consider this: even if it was, that would be no excuse for God’s people to neglect His call to care for the “least of these.” Isn’t His carrying our disease and conquering us with His love enough to compel us to us to carry them- their sickness and their souls- before His throne? Isn’t it enough to inspire us to show them that love? Do we believe that the love of Christ is enough? Do we believe it will reach even them? “‘Love never fails’- is love failing now?” (Amy Carmichael)

Nothing Ordinary October 24, 2009

“Passing alongside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew the brother of Simon casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” And immediately they left their nets and followed him.” Mark 1:16-18

Press on, Christian, take heart! “Nothing ordinary is equal to this new call.” (Amy Carmichael) – and yet it is so “normal”, so natural, it seems like it should be so “natural” that a child should follow his Father- his loving, perfect Father- about where ever and to whatever He calls- won’t we follow freely out of love? Don’t kick your feet and scream, you have no idea of the joy He has prepared for those who with their whole hearts follow.

And really, that is why nothing ordinary is equal to it- because of the joy. Nothing ordinary is equal to a Babe born of a virgin. Nothing ordinary is equal to His sinless life. Nothing ordinary is equal to His redemptive death. Nothing ordinary is equal to His saving work in sinners souls. And so we are compelled to ask “can anything be equal to following His call?” No, nothing.

Can we imagine beforehand the depth of the treasure-house of delight our Beloved has in store for those whom he is not ashamed to call “brother”? Now we do not follow to some abyss of emptiness- in the sense that where ever we are, whatever we do, we are never left empty when we call for Him to fill us. Now we follow to joy on joy, joy instead of joy. “Rude, crowding little children type of [joy]*” Not that there will never be sorrow, pain, hurt- but for believers, those things do not have to cancel out joy. Sometimes it may be a quiet, sad type of joy that it doesn’t look like [to others] you should even have. But if to live is Christ, then surely there is always joy. Surely there is great joy in following.

Also, nothing ordinary, I think we’ll find, is equal to the love- the Love of God from which it flows and the love to others which flows from this Greater Love. The type of love that makes your heart jump up and start screaming at the mere thought of your loved ones- the type of love that fills and flows over- but words fail.

And if humans, sinful man,  is capable of such love, compare it now to the to the Love of God to His children. There is not even a comparison here. Nothing ordinary is equal to this, no nothing. The comparison fails: our families, our dear friends, add so much- can give so much to us. What can we add to God? There is nothing in us. What does He ask of us through the power of His Son? He calls for our lives.  He calls for our all. He calls for us to serve Him through serving others. He calls for our love-our hearts.

And nothing ordinary is equal to this new call.

*Pastor John in reference to grace.

The Big + October 6, 2009

What if, when the love of God constrained you to consider touching the untouchable, you found out that the untouchable are very touchable after all- and huggable, feelable, lovable?

I wonder how most of my blog readers will respond to this post in their minds? There are, I suppose, a great lot of not-knowers. If you are a not-knower, I strongly suggest that you pursue becoming a knower (talk to Momma!). I am not blind to the fact that I myself do not know everything there is to know on the subject. Here is some of what I do know.

Right now, children & adults in Africa are dying because they cannot get the lifesaving ARVs they need- medications which are very gettable in the U.S. Children who with the proper treatment could live “normal” lives- like Josiah

Like Mercy

Like the children you love.

How long will this go on?

Until people know?

Until people understand?

Until people stop being afraid- afraid to touch?

Until we see their faces?

Until we realise they’re real?

Until we love enough to touch, hug, feel, pray for?

I’m for real. The body of Christ is called to follow in His steps. Christ carried our disease- will we be satisfied to let them die of theirs? They too need the love of Christ- will we show them that love? Inasmuch as we visit the least of these sick, we’ve done it unto Him. Will we ‘do it unto Him’? Will we pray? Will we love like Christ?

Will we?

Where Are Your Eyes, Oh Ye Of Little Faith? July 24, 2009

In God’s amazing wisdom, after the initial burst with Personhood Mississippi, He allowed things to look uncertain for a period of time – He knows what will bring Him most glory. Now, when things are looking somewhat better, it seems  easier to believe He can “really do it”- but which way are we looking?

When we look horizontally, discouragement and encouragement switch and swap and rise and fall at a dizzying pace that will likely leave us feeling confused and anxious. When things look good, we often feel full of vigor and excitement. “Nothing,” we may say (if not in so many words) “could shake my faith.”- then things start to look less promising, and it is seen that it was never really faith at all- because faith does not alter and bend and sway with the ebbing and flowing of physical circumstances. God’s ability to do His will does not change with all the changes in appearances, and if our hope does, prehaps we should consider whether we need to shift our gaze.

When by God’s grace we look “vertically” – when we fix our gaze on God -  we see that He will accomplish His good pleasure. We can rest in the knowledge that He is in control, and whatever happens it will be for His glory and the good of His people. We can hope in the belief that He is all-wise, and He is not just standing back fretting about the way things are on earth: He is artfully weaving all things together for His glory and the good of His people. We can trust in the fact that he is all-powerful, and that when His Son died on the cross, the battle which we are fighting was won for His glory and for the good of His people. We can rest, hope and trust in our God. He willend abortion- whether He sees fit to do it through us or not. And that faith must be translated into action: if He will end abortion, why not now? Why not through us? Even if it is not His will to do it now, through us, yet He still commands us to action, whether it be petitioning or going to the mill or volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center or active prayer. And when we begin to see a glimpse of the greatness of our God, should our bones not burn with jealousy? and should we not cry “enough!”? – for His Name is at stake. As the spark in our hearts begins to ignite into a roaring – still ever growing – flame of love for Him, may that love be translated into action. Even when we are looking into the eyes of the countless host of our foes as we stand (apparently) alone in the battlefield, our trust that God will conquer must be no less than if our army were broader and deeper than the sea. Indeed, “…those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” In light of He Who is with us, those who are with them are as nothing.

Fath always believes that.

Come, let us fix our eyes on Him.

Come, Make a Home in My Heart May 25, 2009

I – and, I trust, some of my readers – know to some degree what to some degree what it means to have Christ come and make a home in our hearts. Sometimes, even now, we still try to treat Him (as Pastor John might be heard to say) as a house guest- a vsitor. We say “make Yourself at home”, but we would think t terribly presumptuous if He came into “that one closet” – the closet in which we try to hide our sin, not rememberng that it was in front of His face, and He saw it, when that sin was first committed. Do we really want to wait for Him to go into the closet “uninvited” to remember that He already knows about those things, to remember that He already carried them to the cross on His own spotless shoulders anddied to wash them away? How long until the freedom freely offered will be freely received? Blessed are we when we do not tarry to open the closet door and give Him our whole hearts! Blessed are we when we do not tarry to accept the gift of freedom from all those things, all the things in the closet. Blessed are we when we do not tarry to beg and plead for Him to come and do away with all of the sins creeping about His home- do we think that the Sinless One desires to share a home with out pet sins? I am not talking about the unconverted, but of the believer who who goes through seasons of striving with his Beloved for another last drink of sin; and foolishly tries to hide it away for a time when He Who sees all is not looking- and in our great foolishness we think to hid it in His very home. We must learn to give it all to Him, for He requires a whole heart.

Now, just a few words of comfort before I go: He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust – We have not a High Priest Who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses – “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

Open wide your heart and know the Joy which He alone gives.

SOLA DEO GLORIA!!!

Adoption: January 29, 2009

“…They have made their faces harder than rock; they have refused to repent.” –Jeremiah 5:3

I was defiant.

 ”…All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” — Romans 3:23

I was disobedient.

“All we like sheep have gone astray…” —Isaiah 53:6

I was wayward.

“You have been rebellious against the Lord from the day that I knew you.” —Deuteronomy 10:24

I was rebellious.

 ”… Every fool will be quarreling.” —Proverbs 20:3

 I was argumentative.

 ”The heart is deceitful above all things…” —Jeremiah 17:9

I was deceitful.

 ”…Desolation and destruction are in their highways.” —Jeremiah 59:7

I was destructive.

“… by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind.” —Ephesians 2:3

 I was angry.

“Why is my pain unceasing, my wound uncurable, refusing to be healed?” —Jeremiah 15:18

I was broken.

————————————————

 ”For you did not recieve the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have recieved the spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’”— Romans 8:15

Yet He adopted me.

“And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘know the Lord,’ for they shall all know Me… ” —Jeremiah 31:34

 He made Himself known to me.

“…For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” —Jeremiah 31:34

 He forgave me and forgot all that had come before.

 ”… I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” —John 10:10

 And He gave me life abundant.

————————————————

 ”For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you…” —John 13:15

———–

“Whoever recieves one such child in my name recieves me.” Matthew —18:5

If this should be my last day January 10, 2009

I had almost forgotten… but life reminded me again. I had thought for a moment, ‘I still young- I am secure’… but it is not so. No matter what magic diet we use, no matter how healthy or ill, young or old we are, none of us know the number of our days on earth. None of us know if we will be here tomorrow. I know that today I am a closer to my Home than I was yesterday… yet I do not know how close or far I really am.

I don’ think anyone should wantto die before their time. I do not feel a longing for death- I want to live to meet my ***someday*** Ethiopian siblings, I want to watch my brothers & sisters grow both physically & spiritually. And yet- we are not to long for death but we are to press on toward heaven. Because of our loving Saviour, death is no longer something we must run afraid from, but something to look forward to as the doorway to our completion in Christ- the doorway to life. Because He told us the He went to prepare a place for us, we know that we have a home & a rest awaiting us- and we know that He will be there, the ‘flower of flowers’ to meet us on the shore. Because He promised in His word that though here our sweetest communion with Him is but as through a glass, darkly, then we shall see Him face to face- we know that the level of pure joy awaiting us cannot begin to be imagined my our little minds.

It would be easy to get caught up in all this, but really, it’s a tricky business. While we are to look forward to and long for heaven/our completion, we must also remember that we are here for a purpose- to spread His kingdom where ever we go, to go into all the world & preach the gospel. We are not called to just sit at home and say ‘I’m so heavenly minded, I’m just going to sit here & look forward to my completion- we none of us know how much longer we have anyway.’- no! We must consider, today may well be my very last day- what does that mean? How should I live? Well, I have found that we must live today as if it is the very last day of our story on earth. If this might well be the last bit of the little part of my story those I leave behind will know, how do I want my story to end? Well, I want those who remember me to say; “And she lived her last day in the grip of the reality of Christ in all His glory, and she stepped through the doorway of earthly death and into eternal life, and she looked upon her maker, and He said, ‘well done.’ The Beginning.” How will the people I know remember me? Will they remember a once wretched sinner saved by the grace of God & through His kindness following in His steps all the way? Or will they say; ’she said all the right words, but her life testified that she did not believe them’, ‘She honoured Him with her mouth but her heart was far from Him’?

I pray that by His grace & through Him alone, I may live every day on His reality, clinging to Him as I press on in His name until I am released to worship Him fully.

So. Here I am. November 17, 2008

*Sigh* So. Here I am. Right now there is a chair in the middle of the hallway leading to the back of the house- there is a piece of paper ripped from a notebook taped to it with the words ‘The babies are goning to sleep… “you shall not pass”‘… or something. Humm… that’s never happened before. So here I am, wishing for the convience of the laptop which I know is only a few steps away in my bedroom- but my bedroom is in the back of the house: off limits. So I am writing with someone else’s pen in a wide-ruled spiral bound notebook: only one of several which float around our home- sometimes downstairs, sometimes upstairs, sometimes in the van- full of old half finished grocery lists, “may I have a…” in Sarah or Ben’s hand (legible) and the reply in Momma’s handwriting (round), and other doodling from random people. Now a page with quotes from favuorite songs, movies or books (Emma’s), now a page full of hearts and the words ANNIE ANNA ANNE and the brand-new HALLEL over and over because they are the only words Annie can really spell yet, now a page where somebody took an order which only they can understand. I am sitting on the couch in the living room, which is the one I recovered but haven’t quite finished yet, a coordination sheet spread slopily over the seat to try fruitlessly to hide the fact that I haven’t recovered the cusions yet.

Welcome to my life, the life of a not quite 17-year old girl in a family of 13.

So many people wonder how I could possibly love my life. So many people just *know* that I go all my days secretly wishing I had been born to a different family, living with a hidden longing to be able to live my youth as wild and irresponsibly as “everyone else” my age gets to. But I don’t. With all my heart I can say that I do not. I can’t imagine how anyone on earth could be happier than I am right now.

So. Here I am. It’s the end of another day. The babies are are peacefully tucked in their beds- Josiah, I think, asleep, but Momma’s attempts to get Mercy setled down have so far been with very mixed sucess- she is lying in bed without getting up now I think, but she is not asleep. So probably the chair in the hall is still there & my room is still off limits. This is such a peaceful home. I look around. I am sitting in the upstairs living room. When I look from my wide-ruled spiral bound notebook the first thing I see is a vase of pink roses- the bushes in our front yard are so pretty this time of year. Beside the roses are Rutherfords Letters & Momma’s Bible- probably from when she siezed a quiet moment to sit & read earlier this afternoon. She really is a lovely lady.

So. Here I am. Unmeasurably blessed. I have been given the best family in the world, a happy home, and a Saviour who loves me.

Sometimes, I think it’s just awesome.

~Ellie

ok, when I write late at night I am so sentimental.

On Adoption pt. 3 October 20, 2008

Opposition

Okay… I have alot of experiance with this one, but not the time to really think out a post. Another short?

Most people who are adopting/ have adopted outside of their race are eventually going to run into someone who disagrees. Even if you are adoptiong a child who looks very much like you, you’re likely to meet disapproval somewhere. It might be someone who you couldn’t care less wether they approved or it could be someone who is very important to you. We had plenty of both to go around when people found out about Josiah. It was/is both very important people in our lives & somewhat minor and irrelevant people- it was both people who rejected/reject the idea/baby because of race & people who didn’t/don’t like adoption at all & people who simply thought/think we have too many children- as well as people who just didn’t understand. It was people who were very vocal and forceful about their disapproval & people who left us to figure it out & people who politely stated their concerns. We’ve been through it all- we even got used to it after awhile- but that didn’t make it ay easier- that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Racism is a terrible thing. It hurts so badly. It hurts to say goodbye — or never get the chance to say goodbye — to loved ones because of it. It hurts to know that while I live every day being incredibly blessed by children like Josiah & Ellie & Isaac & Phoebe & Isaiah who add so much Joy to my life, there are people who I love who make the chioce on a regular basis to refuse such blessings. Josiah is such a happy baby with a juicy smile which he bestows on anyone whenever he gets the chance. It hurts that there are people who will never know that smile or the wonderful boy who it comes from. It hurts. 

It is so hard when it seems like everyone is against your adoption & no one is for it. I have actually already started on part 4 and touch on this there as well, how God is on our side- and His approval way out-weighs everyone elses disapproval. I know, I understand that saying that does not make it any easier when you are in the middle of it. I know that you can know it in your head but it is much harder to really believe it when you feel overwelmed by the waves of opposition that seem to be coming & flooding your heart from all sides. It hurts so much. I know. When we follow God even when it seems crazy, people are bound to raise their eyebrows at it- and they do. But we are not to look for approval from those around us, and what people think of us is not who we are. We are the children of God, who adopted us, and what we should really be concerned about is whether He wants us doing it. If that is true, and we know it is true, then why does it still hurt so much? Ah-ha, the catch- love. When you love someone, you really, really want them to love you too- and even if you know that is does not matter, it usually does matter to you what they think. And it hurts. It cuts your heart. Sometimes it takes something like this to find out what that relationship really was. If it was real, if you really were bound together in Christian love, than it is probably going to take more than the bitter seeds of racism (or whatever) to kill that. We discovered that to be true in most cases, but I must also say that it is very, very few relationships that came out of this the same. Mrs. Amber said that it seemed to her like an opportunity for some friends/relations to grow, and it was- but very few did grow. Many, many relationships are not at all the same, and unless God works in these peoples hearts, never will be. There are people who were once a part of our lives & no longer are. And we love those people- that is what really hurts. That is why it stings- if there were no love, there would be no stinger in the wound- but there was love. When the opposition (which in some cases was expected & in some was foolishly unexpected) first came up, we went to God and cried “look God! are we really supposed to be doing this? They say we’re not!” and He told us “are you doing this for them? and, do you love them more than you love Me?” and He helped us. He helped us through the fire. He said “If I am for you, who can be against you?” He carried us.

God did not call us to live a comfortable life. He did not call us to do whatever was easiest. He called us to follow. Feel free to comment/ email if you are in the middle of this ‘hard part’ of adoption & need encouragement- or you might be better to contact Momma.

One more thing- I know if you are in the midst of it this is hard to remember (very hard), but after it’s all said & done;

 

this really is all worth it.

On Adoption pt. 2 October 16, 2008

What about the MONEY?

Most of you know that I’m not really in the habit of getting into the controversial subjects on my blog. I hope that everyone is ready for a change, because part three is coming too- but you can also be relieved that the ‘worst’ is passed & don’t be afraid to keep reading

How much of the Bible is true? How much of it is really the Word of God?

We seem to have a wall of shelves. Every Christian goes through God’s Word and sorts it out in order of what they personally think is more important (top shelf) down to least important (bottom). But that is not how it is supposed to be. That’s not what we’re supposed to do.

If all of the Bible is true, if every word in it came from God, what do we do with verses like “Care for the widows & orphans in there distress”? ‘Wha- uh- no- uh- you see, that’s for some people, but it’s not for me.’ Suddenly, God’s word means different things for differents people. Suddenly, it’s true for me but it’s not true for you. Suddenly, God is re-made in the image of man who changes.

Now the point of this post is to talk about the cost of adoption, and as you can see I have already strayed dreadfully from the topic. I feel like something needs to be said, but I don’t really have much to say. This may be a short post.

The cost- I’m talking about the money- really does sometimes seem impossible to reach. But does God command us to do more than is possible for us to do? Most certainly- with man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Not adopting because you don’t think you ever could is not an acceptable excuse.

Have any of you ever heard of Steven Curtis Chapman? If you’re reading this blog, you probably have. What about Shohannahs Hope? Heard of it? It’s an organisation where they give grants to families who want to adopt but don’t have sufficient income. There are so many organisations like that out there. That is a very real option for raising money- also, think about how much money you spend in a year on things you don’t really need. Ask yourself ‘What do I need?’ ‘What can I sacrifice?’ People who are not at all rich can adopt:

 

See?

God is faithful to provide.

I know that wondering where the money will come from is a very real concern that holds people back from adopting a child. The belief that adoption is impossible because of the funds is a very real belief. If you act on God’s command anyway, trusting Him to provide, do you really think He is unable to take care of it? God did not tell us to do His commands only if we think we can- He told us trust Him with it.

There were times during Josiah’s adoption when we faltered. There were actual real times when we were forced to wonder wether Life Choices did re-po’s. We don’t have to wonder that anymore, because God gave us what was needed just when it was needed. We were almost not even a potential family for Josiah because we couldn’t finish our homestudy until we had the money to pay for it. Then one day out of the blue the amount we needed came in the form of a check from some friends who wanted to help with our adoption. God knew just when we needed that check to come, and He was faithful to bring it on time.

The God who laid the orphan on your heart is faithful to supply everything needed. Give it to Him. Watch Him bless you.