*Sigh* So. Here I am. Right now there is a chair in the middle of the hallway leading to the back of the house- there is a piece of paper ripped from a notebook taped to it with the words ‘The babies are goning to sleep… “you shall not pass”‘… or something. Humm… that’s never happened before. So here I am, wishing for the convience of the laptop which I know is only a few steps away in my bedroom- but my bedroom is in the back of the house: off limits. So I am writing with someone else’s pen in a wide-ruled spiral bound notebook: only one of several which float around our home- sometimes downstairs, sometimes upstairs, sometimes in the van- full of old half finished grocery lists, “may I have a…” in Sarah or Ben’s hand (legible) and the reply in Momma’s handwriting (round), and other doodling from random people. Now a page with quotes from favuorite songs, movies or books (Emma’s), now a page full of hearts and the words ANNIE ANNA ANNE and the brand-new HALLEL over and over because they are the only words Annie can really spell yet, now a page where somebody took an order which only they can understand. I am sitting on the couch in the living room, which is the one I recovered but haven’t quite finished yet, a coordination sheet spread slopily over the seat to try fruitlessly to hide the fact that I haven’t recovered the cusions yet.
Welcome to my life, the life of a not quite 17-year old girl in a family of 13.
So many people wonder how I could possibly love my life. So many people just *know* that I go all my days secretly wishing I had been born to a different family, living with a hidden longing to be able to live my youth as wild and irresponsibly as “everyone else” my age gets to. But I don’t. With all my heart I can say that I do not. I can’t imagine how anyone on earth could be happier than I am right now.
So. Here I am. It’s the end of another day. The babies are are peacefully tucked in their beds- Josiah, I think, asleep, but Momma’s attempts to get Mercy setled down have so far been with very mixed sucess- she is lying in bed without getting up now I think, but she is not asleep. So probably the chair in the hall is still there & my room is still off limits. This is such a peaceful home. I look around. I am sitting in the upstairs living room. When I look from my wide-ruled spiral bound notebook the first thing I see is a vase of pink roses- the bushes in our front yard are so pretty this time of year. Beside the roses are Rutherfords Letters & Momma’s Bible- probably from when she siezed a quiet moment to sit & read earlier this afternoon. She really is a lovely lady.
So. Here I am. Unmeasurably blessed. I have been given the best family in the world, a happy home, and a Saviour who loves me.
Sometimes, I think it’s just awesome.
~Ellie
ok, when I write late at night I am so sentimental.
