Celebrate A Simple Life

it is no bad thing

On Adoption pt. 2 October 16, 2008

Filed under: adoption,Christian living,faith,pictures — Ellie @ 4:13 pm

What about the MONEY?

Most of you know that I’m not really in the habit of getting into the controversial subjects on my blog. I hope that everyone is ready for a change, because part three is coming too- but you can also be relieved that the ‘worst’ is passed & don’t be afraid to keep reading 🙂

How much of the Bible is true? How much of it is really the Word of God?

We seem to have a wall of shelves. Every Christian goes through God’s Word and sorts it out in order of what they personally think is more important (top shelf) down to least important (bottom). But that is not how it is supposed to be. That’s not what we’re supposed to do.

If all of the Bible is true, if every word in it came from God, what do we do with verses like “Care for the widows & orphans in there distress”? ‘Wha- uh- no- uh- you see, that’s for some people, but it’s not for me.’ Suddenly, God’s word means different things for differents people. Suddenly, it’s true for me but it’s not true for you. Suddenly, God is re-made in the image of man who changes.

Now the point of this post is to talk about the cost of adoption, and as you can see I have already strayed dreadfully from the topic. I feel like something needs to be said, but I don’t really have much to say. This may be a short post.

The cost- I’m talking about the money- really does sometimes seem impossible to reach. But does God command us to do more than is possible for us to do? Most certainly- with man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Not adopting because you don’t think you ever could is not an acceptable excuse.

Have any of you ever heard of Steven Curtis Chapman? If you’re reading this blog, you probably have. What about Shohannahs Hope? Heard of it? It’s an organisation where they give grants to families who want to adopt but don’t have sufficient income. There are so many organisations like that out there. That is a very real option for raising money- also, think about how much money you spend in a year on things you don’t really need. Ask yourself ‘What do I need?’ ‘What can I sacrifice?’ People who are not at all rich can adopt:

 

See?
See?

God is faithful to provide.

I know that wondering where the money will come from is a very real concern that holds people back from adopting a child. The belief that adoption is impossible because of the funds is a very real belief. If you act on God’s command anyway, trusting Him to provide, do you really think He is unable to take care of it? God did not tell us to do His commands only if we think we can- He told us trust Him with it.

There were times during Josiah’s adoption when we faltered. There were actual real times when we were forced to wonder wether Life Choices did re-po’s. We don’t have to wonder that anymore, because God gave us what was needed just when it was needed. We were almost not even a potential family for Josiah because we couldn’t finish our homestudy until we had the money to pay for it. Then one day out of the blue the amount we needed came in the form of a check from some friends who wanted to help with our adoption. God knew just when we needed that check to come, and He was faithful to bring it on time.

The God who laid the orphan on your heart is faithful to supply everything needed. Give it to Him. Watch Him bless you.

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8 Responses to “On Adoption pt. 2”

  1. Oh, controversy, isn’t it fun?

    Adopting from foster care is often free. It’s even better than free – many agencies will help you apply for adoption assistance, which is a monthly stipend to help raise the children until they are 18.

    In my opinion, a baby is not an orphan. There are over 10,000 foster kids in the state of Georgia and 800 foster homes. These are kids who were abandoned, starved, beaten, neglected – not freely placed by a birth mom.

    I have a sibling group of three – they are three out of seven kids – aged 8 to 3. We got placement when the youngest was 2. Mine are intellectually above average, developmentally on target, have no serious medical concerns, and are great and loving kids. The numbers of them scared away all the adoptive parents – we were actually called only because our last set of kids had left three days earlier.

    When God tells us to take care of the orphans, these are the ones he means – most children over the age of 8 will never have a permanent home. My 8 yo was placed in a group home (like the military’s boot camp) when he was 5 years old and no one wanted such an old child. The county promptly lost his paperwork so he never even got to see his siblings until moving in here.

    All children deserve love, but too many only want babies or children under 3. In GA, all it takes to be declared “special needs” is to be over 3 years old and not white. Sibling groups are automatically special needs even though they transition into adoptive families better and have less trauma and more success in attaching.

    Yes, you can apply for a grant. You can also take just a few hours of your time to go to a state-sponsored adoption party (like a singles mixer for kids) and see what all these special needs kids are really like, and maybe fall in love.

  2. We seem to have a wall of shelves. Every Christian goes through God’s Word and sorts it out in order of what they personally think is more important (top shelf) down to least important (bottom). But that is not how it is supposed to be. That’s not what we’re supposed to do.
    WHOA! This is heavier stuff than we’re used to. Keep it up.

  3. Ellie Says:

    theabusedbookliberationproject- Hi! Thank you for your comment & very good point – that adopting out of foster care is a very good option. It was never really an option for us because my family already had 9 birth kids in it BEFORE we adopted & we don’t live in a mansion. We we couldn’t have met all of the requirements in our state. I know from personal experiance that so-called ‘special needs’ foster children are just what you have said- indescribable blessings.
    I agree that there are so many wonderful children in foster care who desperately need families to take them & love them- but I do not agree that this means God did not intend us to care for the children who are born & freely relinquished. It is both- it is all, ALL orphans that God has called us to care for. A child in foster care who has been taken from their first parents because of abuse or neglect is in every bit as desperate a need for a family as an African child whose first parents have died from malnutrition & desiese- likeways, babies like Josiah who are born to mothers who are not prepared to be a mother or who are unable to care for them are (or were) just as much orphans as a child who is taken by the state. When God calls us to care for the orphans, He is talking about ALL of the children in the world who need homes & families & love.

    “All children deserve love, but too many only want babies or children under 3. In GA, all it takes to be declared “special needs” is to be over 3 years old and not white. Sibling groups are automatically special needs even though they transition into adoptive families better and have less trauma and more success in attaching.”

    I 100% agree with this- that all children need love- but to me, that includes the babies who are placed for adoption at birth. All children need love, but love is really NOT enough in some cases. We wish it was sometimes, but it is not. Like your children, Josiah was said to be a ‘special needs’ baby. He is brown and his birthfamily has a history of mental illnesses- like you, we know what it feels like to look into the eyes of a WONDERFUL child & remember all the families who miss out on these blessings because of race, or ‘medical risks’, or whatever.
    I agree that action is needed for all the children- for the old ones & the young ones, the brown ones & the pink ones (I am using 4-year-old terminology. She seems to have a more logical grasp on colours than we do), for the sick ones & the healthy ones, the Ethiopian ones & the American ones.
    Yes, foster children need homes, but they need homes as well as – not instead of – babies placed at birth. The reason I did not expound on them in my post is that I really don’t have much experiance on the subject (YET).
    I think I see part five coming…
    ~Ellie

  4. paragraphein Says:

    Hi Ellie,

    First, hi. I found your blog using tag surfer on WordPress and must admit that I haven’t read any other of your posts yet (but will).

    But I just wanted to say that I agree with the first commenter on this post. As a woman who “freely” relinquished a newborn baby, I do not feel my daughter was an orphan. And in fact, there was no need for her relinquishment and adoption–I was a fit mother, loved her (and do love her) very very much, and if her parents had not adopted her, she would have been just fine. So I am not sure it’s “taking care of the widows and orphans” in the sense the Bible means it, to adopt a baby through domestic infant adoption–largely because I know my story is not unique.

    I sometimes wish (okay, often) that society put as much effort into supporting women with unplanned pregnancies as they do adopting newborns. In my heart I wanted to keep my daughter, but the message I got from society was that I was not worthy to keep her. Adoption has caused me quite a bit of pain–and the repercussions just keep coming. That seems like an odd outcome for a supposed godly mandate.

    Anyway, thank you for reading this and considering another perspective.

    Cheers.

  5. Ellie Says:

    Hello paragraphein
    Thank you for your comment.
    I do not agree that children placed at birth are not included in God’s command. We live in a fallen world & even if we don’t like it, there ARE mothers who feel that adoption is the best option for them, who feel that they would not be able to give their baby everything they think she/he needs. It is sad, but it is true. And while babies relinquished at birth are/were certainly not orphans in the same sense that a child whose first parents died is/was, they need homes & families just as much as ‘real’ orphans. If no family had been willing to take Josiah into thier arms, I am as sure as I can be that Josiah’s birthmom still would not have raised him. He would probably have grown up in foster care.
    ALL of the children need families.
    Thanks! ~Ellie

  6. Rileymom Says:

    Ellen’s mom here. According to the Websters 1828 dictionary-

    Orphan- a child bereaved of one or both parents.
    Bereaved- deprived, stripped or left destitute.

    Just to clarify. I think, when Ellen says orphan, she means all children who need a home. We are Christians and that is the worldview we speak from. If an orphan is a child bereft of one or both parents then I would guess our first responsibility biblically is to the widow and orphan. That is the widow and her orphaned child. We tend to separate the two and make it widow or orphan so in a roundabout way I agree with paragraphein on some points. In our culture we way to easily separate mother and child. This is why we did not adopt through any big name adoption organizations. In our reasearch I just found to much that caused a check in my spirit and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Josiah was adopted through a christian crisis pregnancy center. Every effort is made (before and after birth) to help the mother to parent.
    Unfortunately, even in modern day America there are mothers who cannot or will not care for their children. My heart breaks for my sons birthmother. I will not tell her story. It is not mine to tell but not all women out there voluntarily relinquishing a child have the same choices. There are shocking heartbreak and circumstances even in America. I have very strong feelings on this subject but I think I’ll stop there.
    abused book- I think it is a wonderful thing that your family is making a difference in the lives of so many children.
    paragraphien- I am so sorry for your pain. I have never relinquished a child but I have buried one and I do understand the pain of leaving the hospital with an empty blanket and a broken heart.

    From a heart made whole by the blood of Christ,
    Christy- mom to all these amazing kiddos

  7. paragraphein Says:

    “Just to clarify. I think, when Ellen says orphan, she means all children who need a home.”

    I understand.

    My point is that many of the infants adopted through domestic infant adoption don’t actually need homes.

    I cannot speak to Ellie’s son’s situation (Josiah’s). He may have ended up in foster care… how am I to know?

    However, my daughter did NOT need a new home. And I know many birth mothers whose children also did not need new homes.

    This is why I am not sure that, as a general rule (specific instances may vary), it’s appropriate to use the Bible to support domestic infant adoption.

  8. Rileymom Says:

    Actually, Josiah(5 months) is my son & Ellie(16) is my daughter along with their 3 brothers(11,15,18) and 5 sisters(2,6,10, 13 & 20).
    Ellie is 16 years old :O) & passionate about children.

    Unfortunately, Adoption has become a big business all over the world and alot of moms and babies are being sacrificed to the bottom line. I understand that. But not always. There are ethical agencies out there helping women. We adopted Josiah through one. Sometimes the problems run so deep that mothers feel they need to place no matter how much help is offered them.


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