Celebrate A Simple Life

it is no bad thing

Hymn 765 July 31, 2010

Filed under: faith,following,quotes — Ellie @ 1:52 pm

My spirit on Thy care,
Blest Savior, I recline;
Thou wilt not leave me to despair,
For Thou art Love divine.

In Thee I place my trust,
On Thee I calmly rest;
I know Thee good, I know Thee just,
And count Thy choice the best.

Whate’er events betide,
Thy will they all perform;
Safe in Thy breast my head I hide,
Nor fear the coming storm.

Let good or ill befall,
It must be good for me;
Secure of having Thee in all,
Of having all in Thee.

-Henry F. White

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Christ is. April 10, 2010

Filed under: faith,Joy — Ellie @ 4:02 pm

The amazingness of God in the past year has been so acute. Who would have thought to think of it all? I find myself remembering that Christ promised He would make me glad, and finding that I did not believe. I didn’t know.

Everywhere I look in my past, there is Christ, urging me toward Himself- and when I look around the now, He is here still and the call is this: “Onward, Christward, you will not find Joy save in Me alone.” As when He called His first disciples, now He calls me: “follow Me.” How can I respond save by laying down my nets immediately and following? Would that I would follow more fully!

For years I alternated semi-despair and self-assurance. I knew the bitterness of trials without Christ to comfort (thank God I shall never be there again!). “I wonder now, Lord, what was it made me wait so long? And what kept you waiting for me all that time? Was Your love stronger than my foolish pride?” And His love was, and is today. That is why I need never fear that I will lose Him- I know that I will never leave completely: his is the love that will not let me go. It is a fearful thing to write- I must remember that I am “prone to wander, prone to leave the God I love.” I must tremble and cling desperately to Him always. And yet I know, at the same time, that He will never leave or forsake me. If salvation depended on me, then in my fundamental sinfulness I would never know Him- and even if once I could, it would never last. But salvation does not depend on me, and as Christ’s sacrifice was complete, so shall my salvation be. O the joy of knowing this!

My testimony is not elaborate, it is very “simple”. The fact is, it can be told in only two words: “He is.” Everything that He told us, He is. What I did not believe, He is. For years and years I lived in false assurance and aching and almost-despair. I knew, I saw in lives around me, that there was more, there must be more. It was very common for me to hear again & again these words: “look to Christ” and I would get so angry. I would even put it in words to myself, these words “Look to Christ! Which way is that?” Though really my heart was resisting, thinking surely there was some merit in me- but the there was not. I was a monster of iniquity. I began sometimes to see glimpes of the state of my soul- though I do not think I fully saw how vast was the chasm between me and the God Who filled with such fullness the lives of the people around me who knew Him. I did not see, really, until Christ had come, and filled that chasm. Somewhat unrecognizably at the time, in early 2008, I found everything I had been told of Him to be true. The morning dawned on my soul without fear of returning night. I was His, and He was mine. “What will you despair of now, Christian?”

One thing I can mention as something God directly (in a way I can see) used in drawing me to Himself is the life & death of a friend. When Amber Mathenia entered her completion, her witness did not die. She, being dead, yet speaketh. I cannot tell you how exactly it happened- all I know is that Christ is all, and that He is mine. O the depth of the riches of His kindness! At the very point of finding that I needed Him, I found that He was enough.

From that time I have found myself being drawn relentlessly into deeper and deeper love for Christ- and though my response to Him has often been far from perfect, His perfect love has always been sufficient, and I cannot go back- He will not let me, and His loveliness will not even let me want to completely. Particularly over this past year, I have seen Him show Himself again and again to be everything He said He was. Each time, it seems, I see that I had not believed before- I had not seen. And the blessed truth is, even now, “there will always be more for a finite mind to see of an Infinite God.” More! The “heights of love, depths of peace” are only “as through a glass, dimly.” What more may I see of Him? His “love hath neither brim nor bottom.” Onward, Christward! What heights of joy may I have yet to discover?

He has made me glad.

 

The Greatness of God over the past year with Personhood MS February 18, 2010

Filed under: Christian living,faith,Joy,life,PersonhoodMS,quotes — Ellie @ 1:26 pm

I scarce know what to say- where to begin.Who would have thought it? There are many miles between me and the girl who didn’t know what to expect petitioning for the first time nearly a year ago. There are many changes between the small group in our living room at the end of 2008 and the group gathered at the Secretary of State’s office today. And I can honestly say, I would never trade it- I wouldn’t trade it. “Who could have thought of such joy for us but He whose name is Love?”

I am at a loss as to how to begin to tell of how much He’s taught me- how much I’ve seen of Him this year. How is it that I can call this Saviour mine?!?This great King of Love- how is it that I can claim Him? He who does all things well? Yet He, even He, is mine and I am His- how can my human mind wrap around this? “What may I say of Him? let us go & see.”

He uses everything- everything in our lives to bring us Christward. This year, it was this.

I’ve been so many places this year- talked to so many people- looked into so many eyes. I have had so many experiences I will likely carry for the rest of my life, met so many people I cannot forget. I treasure those memories. I count some of those people as dearest friends- some, I count as brother. As sister. Who would ever have thought it? Listen, unbeliever, listen! All  the incredible things you have heard of Him- what He has told us- it is true.And when you have come to Him, you cannot leave. His loveliness will captivate your heart- there is no life outside of Him. What is the existence I called life before? In Him is life, and that life is the light of men. The true light, which enlightens everyone, has come into the world. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I have tried to walk in my own strength, and have fallen .I have cast myself on Christ, and have found Him sufficient. I have forgotten, but He has not forgotten. Sometimes I wonder, how can I hold it all? “I wonder now, what was it made me wait so long?” I didn’t know it would be like this. I did not know. “How can they live without Jesus?” I know that I had to have Him, but I had noidea it would be quite like this. O the depth of the riches of everything that is ours in Christ! I cannot mention all the people, all the events, because I know I would forget some. I have spent more time  away from my family than in all the rest of my life combined. I have missed my family and my beloved Church so acutely at times- and have found that Christ is enough. I wouldn’t change the way He worked things- I am in a position to say that I would not change it.

We cannot look to circumstances to draw our strength, our hope from them. Our hope is found in Christ alone- He it is who has been our captain. How faithless we have been- but He is God. The gates of hell cannot prevail against His anointed. Why do we doubt? Why do we foolishly fear? And had we not turned in over 100,000 signatures today, it would have been no defeat. Christ has overcome the world- and it has been His good pleasure in doing so to grant us what we so desperately wanted. The morning has dawned for preborn children in Mississippi, but not because of us. Not because of the signatures. It is because the true light, which enlightens has come into the world. It is because He has seen fit to work in and through His people. What may I say of Him? Come, come and see?

 

Where Are Your Eyes, Oh Ye Of Little Faith? July 24, 2009

Filed under: Christian living,faith,life,PersonhoodMS — Ellie @ 8:04 pm

In God’s amazing wisdom, after the initial burst with Personhood Mississippi, He allowed things to look uncertain for a period of time – He knows what will bring Him most glory. Now, when things are looking somewhat better, it seems  easier to believe He can “really do it”- but which way are we looking?

When we look horizontally, discouragement and encouragement switch and swap and rise and fall at a dizzying pace that will likely leave us feeling confused and anxious. When things look good, we often feel full of vigor and excitement. “Nothing,” we may say (if not in so many words) “could shake my faith.”- then things start to look less promising, and it is seen that it was never really faith at all- because faith does not alter and bend and sway with the ebbing and flowing of physical circumstances. God’s ability to do His will does not change with all the changes in appearances, and if our hope does, prehaps we should consider whether we need to shift our gaze.

When by God’s grace we look “vertically” – when we fix our gaze on God –  we see that He will accomplish His good pleasure. We can rest in the knowledge that He is in control, and whatever happens it will be for His glory and the good of His people. We can hope in the belief that He is all-wise, and He is not just standing back fretting about the way things are on earth: He is artfully weaving all things together for His glory and the good of His people. We can trust in the fact that he is all-powerful, and that when His Son died on the cross, the battle which we are fighting was won for His glory and for the good of His people. We can rest, hope and trust in our God. He willend abortion- whether He sees fit to do it through us or not. And that faith must be translated into action: if He will end abortion, why not now? Why not through us? Even if it is not His will to do it now, through us, yet He still commands us to action, whether it be petitioning or going to the mill or volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center or active prayer. And when we begin to see a glimpse of the greatness of our God, should our bones not burn with jealousy? and should we not cry “enough!”? – for His Name is at stake. As the spark in our hearts begins to ignite into a roaring – still ever growing – flame of love for Him, may that love be translated into action. Even when we are looking into the eyes of the countless host of our foes as we stand (apparently) alone in the battlefield, our trust that God will conquer must be no less than if our army were broader and deeper than the sea. Indeed, “…those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” In light of He Who is with us, those who are with them are as nothing.

Fath always believes that.

Come, let us fix our eyes on Him.

 

Gates December 12, 2008

Filed under: adoption,disconnected thoughts,faith — Ellie @ 6:32 pm

There are so many gates between us and our adoption dreams. So many great, strong, relentless gates. Like great blundering fools, we keep trying to climb over all those gates— but we can’t. They’re great, tall gates & there is nothing to grip as we climb- we get a bit of the ways up, then slid back down lower (farther for our goal) than we even were before. We CAN’T get over even the first gate. So we think, humm, lets go underneath. We flatten ourselves like a pancake but we can’t get under; there is not a hairsbreadth between the bottom of the gate & the ground. Humm… willpower, will power will do it- but it won’t work, we are held back just like before. Finally we gather all together, we aim to test our combined strength against that of this first gate- there are, after all, twelve of us. We push and we heave until one by one we are exausted & lie panting on the ground, no more likely to overcome that gate than to drink all the water in the ocean. We begin to cry. Nothing will work. We were foolish. It can’t be done. No, no, we cannot do it.It is well for us, well for our adoption dreams, that we serve the God who holds the keys to every one of those gates. It is well that we can trust him to open those gates when— and if— he sees fit.

So that is where we were, must like we were in March when I wrote this:

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Lately, Mercy has been learning the meaning of the word “Wait”– and it’s high time. She used to tell you she wants something, and if you didn’t respond immediately she would repeat that she WANTS something. We knew we had to ‘nip this is in the bud’, but it wasn’t until a little later that we decided to teach her about “wait”. She started repeating a request 72 million times at a speed that would make a NASCAR driver dizzy until the required object is in her hand (example: Mercy is ready for bed and has an urge to have a goodnight drink of milk from her bottle. She cries out “Mo-Mo wan’ da’ ba-ba, wan’ da’ ba-ba, wan’ da’ ba-ba, PEEEEEASE, Mo-Mo wan’ da’ ba-ba, wan’ da’ ba-ba…”). It is mostly at these times that we say the new word- and usually she is quiet and patient for a few minutes after being told to wait. Of course, there are times when she needs more correction than one simple word (these times are most frequent at the grocery store, during Church or at some other dreadfully inconvenient place).

The theme of waiting has been very common around here- waiting for documents to come, waiting to hear back from the grant organisation, waiting for “The Call” which we don’t know when to expect…

So what do you do when you are told to “wait”? I find I am prone, like Mercy, to call out my request in a louder, more I’m-seriously-about-to-throw-a-huge-fit voice. I think “the only reason there could be that God has not answer my prayer the way I wanted Him to, when I wanted Him to is that He didn’t hear me, or, He didn’t think I was serious.” So I go into bratty two-year-old mode and I say “Do what I want, and do it RIGHT NOW“- but I find that it doesn’t work. It seems to work out way better to just be quiet- then, I can hear Him when He tells me:

May I wait, that it may be true of me “I waited patiently for the LORD, and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry.””…For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Then shall you call on me, and you shall go and pray to me, and I will hearken to you. And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all your heart…”

It might be seventy years, but He will not forget us (even when it seems like He has).

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee on the palms of my hands, thy walks are continuously before me…”

“Sing, o heavens; and be joyful, o earth; and break forth into singing, o mountains; for the Lord has comforted His people, and will have mercy upon His afflicted.

But Zion said, ‘the LORD hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me.

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee on the palms of my hands, thy walks are continuously before me…”

May I wait, that it may be true of me “I waited patiently for the LORD, and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry.”

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And that is where we are right now. As of yet God has not closed what gates are open & right now we are just waiting, waiting for Him to unlock all those gates & set us free to run, run until we hold our little ones in our arms. It seems to me that he is saying, didn’t you hear my call? Did you not say you would follow? Will you not sacrifice to gain what I have planned for you?

Will we not sacrifice? Will I not sacrifice? When I said I would follow to where ever, what did I mean by that? What were my conditions? Where did I think “where ever you lead” ended?

All of this and more is surging through my heart. We can’t always have what we’re so keenly longing for just when we want it. Sometimes it requires sacrifice so profound that before, we thought it wouldn’t be possible. We are not a patient people, are we? We are not a sacrificing people at all. We must lean on Christ our strength. I find that I am continually drawing… it is well that that well never runs dry- that his people do not come to him, & find we must leave again lacking.

Wait, my daughter

“Take heed, and be quiet; fear not, neither be fainthearted.- Be still, and know that I am God.- did I not say to you that if you believed you should see the kingdom of God?- … Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him…” (this is a compilation of scriptures taken from Daily Light. This is part of the November 4th)

~Ellie

(for those who do not already know this, adoption has a tendency to go ways you didn’t expect it to go)

 

The Impossible In Adoption December 2, 2008

Filed under: adoption,faith,life — Ellie @ 5:10 pm

What are the chances?: While I was writing this- at the very same time- Momma was on the desktop writing a post on HER blog. What do you know- it’s called “The Glory Of The Impossible”. It’s really good, so I’m going to give her a link- http://blessedchaos.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/the-glory-of-the-impossible/. And now-

It tends to happen this way, doesn’t it? Life, I mean- not just in adoption, though that is the subject I am thinking of today. We wonder how it can ever happen, and then we feel a breeze, our hearts beat faster & we turn around to look- that’s when we see that it just DID happen, and we didn’t notice. We only keep our eyes half-open, and so when miracles occur, we don’t see them- then we pretend to be philisophical, and say to people in essence “sure God can do miracles. He’s just not so inclined to do them as He used to be.” Everywhere around us the impossible is done- but we just say “oh that. Think nothing of it, anyone could have pulled it off.” We chuckle inwardly, knowing that just anyone really couldn’t, it was only because we were strong enough to manage such a crazy-impossible task.

Things tend to get confused in our minds after they happen, our memories dullen and we remember them differently than they really were. Before Josiah came home, we shook our heads. “Not us,” we said “We couldn’t adopt.” We probably would have left it at that, if it were not for some friends who didn’t take that for an answer. As it turned out, though, we couldn’t adopt. We just were not the right kind of family; didn’t have the right kind of income; didn’t have the right kind of lifestyle. We couldn’t do it. But we serve a God who can, and did. We serve a God who took us to the right people at the right times, who gave us just what we needed it, exactly when we needed it- regardless of what we thought could happen, or what our timing was. Time & time again He took of out of the realm of possiblity into a places which are unreachable by human efforts. We didn’t always notice it, because those places didn’t seem quite so out of reach when we were there- but they were, they had been out of our reach until God put us there. Looking back, too, we tend to forget anything really miraclous about Josiah’s story. Just another out of a thousand like it- but it is not. Right now is one of those rare moments when I can look back & see that we are no more in a position to take the credit for how he came to us than we are to blush when someone speaks of the beauty of creation. It is as absurd to think that we made it happen as it would be to pretend we make the sun rise & set.

Even now as the early thoughts of another adoption come to our minds, doubts creep into our hearts. We try not to think about it too hard, because you know, we probably won’t be able to pull off another adoption. Now I’m not being naive, and I am well aware that it is not likely to happen just the same this time. I know that God’s plans might well be diffent than the ones we’re thinking of right now- but right now, a peace is on me that no matter what He has in store for our family, He always seems to have planned it better than we did. It’s good to know. We think that this time around, it will be impossibler. Too impossible for God. But it won’t be. It don’t want to give the impression that I believe if is doesn’t happen the way we are tending to think that it will mean it was somehow too much for Him- what I’m trying to say is, we thought the same thing about Josiah- and look! Impossible isn’t as impossible as it once seemed. It’s happening everywhere.

P.S.- Keep your eyes open- you may be about to see the impossible happen here… you never know.

 

On Adoption pt 4 October 23, 2008

Filed under: adoption,faith,JOSIAH! — Ellie @ 4:23 pm
this is my attempt at telling Josiah’s story… in a sketchy, not very thought out sort of way. Maybe later I’ll try again.

Josiah’s Story

For years and years, my family liked the thought of adoption more than we liked the idea of actually doing it. Before Mercy was born, we came very close to adopting but we didn’t. We didn’t. I think that happens to alot of people…

About a year ago Momma went through & cleaned out all the old baby stuff. She said it made her a little sad but she was also excited about the ‘next chapter’ (we always find ourselves thinking in terms of books around here). After that, we didn’t have ANYTHING left. We assumed Mercy would be the youngest & so we wouldn’t need any of that stuff anymore… Then God spoke to Momma & Dad’s (and all of our) hearts, ‘begining’ with Isaac (the son of a family we know). Shortly after the Mathenia’s brought this wonderful boy home we had their family over to supper, and that was one of the last times we had Mrs. Amber over to our house. It is so strange to think how God used that one Sunday afternoon to change our lives for ever & ever. It is strange to wonder, if we had not had them over, wether we ever would have adopted at all? You never know when God is using you. Make the most of every opportunity. God used Mr. Anthony & Mrs. Amber (and sweet Ellie & Isaac) in an amazing way that day to change our family’s veiw on Adoption- and I didn’t have to wait until Monday when Momma called Life Choices for the first time (‘just for some imformation’) to see what was happening in Momma & Dad’s heads.

We did not find out what people meant when they talked about waiting at first. We recieved our initial paperwork from Life Choices & Momma & Dad started working on filling it out- there is ALOT they want you to do! And we began our homestudy- our first visit was the 17th of January. We had to have all sorts of medical things (tests, exams, be sure no one has TB, so on and so on), Momma & Dad had to write seperate bio’s and fill out about 75 million pages of paper work, and on, and on.

Some opposition came & stung our hearts, but it could not undo what God had done in us. Our enthusiasium could not be quenched. During the first few months, Mrs. Amber always had words us encouragement… but after God took her home, it suddenly felt like all of our support was ripped away. It felt like we were alone, like no one was left who ‘approved’ of us adopting a child. When we realised what we had lost in Mrs. Amber, we almost let ourselves believe that no one else in the world cared in a positive way about adoption. It hurt, and (I can only speak for what my heart felt) honestly if it were not for God, who came & filled that hole, I do not know if Josiah would ever have come. I wrote in Josiah’s book (which I kept for him throughout his adoption) after Mrs. Amber died: “In my human mind, this was not supposed to happen. Mrs. Amber was suppsed to appear in these pages, her smile was supposed to encourage us on our adoption journey. … She was supposed to someday hold our baby like we held Isaac [when he first came]. … Help me to trust You, God! … ” and later: “[we are] feeling a bit alone right now… God gave us one person who [we knew] was truly supportive, who never failed to ask what was going on, who answered questions and she seemed like the person who really even cared … and then took her back away from us… I will never forget the emcouragement we recieved from [them] those first few months. … I guess we should not expect everyone to want to talk about our adoption [all the time], but still… it seems as though we don’t have anyones support… but I know it’s not that way… …” Then I talked about some specific ways how God seemed to send encouragement- begining with a specific thing that happened the Sunday night following Mrs. Amber’s going Home. We foud that God would not have us relying on Mrs. Amber’s support. We were to trust Him fully. He was our support, as we found when we leaned on Him. Mrs. Amber was not the center of our adoption story. God was, and we were made to remember it again.

Meanwhile, we were continuing to head toward a new child slowly but surely. Slowly, because we could only move forward as the funds were provided- but surely, because God always provided.

It was the beginning of March when ‘the’ call first came. We did not have a completed homestudy & had not yet submitted out Adoption application to Life Choices when we first recieved a call about a baby girl, who they asked us to pray about. She had several health risks (her birthfamily had a history of mental illnesses) and they wanted to know if Momma & Dad would consider her. We knew that we didn’t even have the money yet to finish our homestudy & we sure didn’t have the placement fee, but after some prayer Momma called J and told her we would be 100% willing to be a potential ‘Baby Girl #1’ family if we could somehow make it work- somehow raise the money in time. That was when Momma asked J when the baby was due, and found out it was March 3- the day before. It was so hard to hear that & to think that there was such a slim chance of us ever being a potiential family for this baby who we firmly believed would be perfectly wonderful no matter what. Momma & Dad had to tell J that we were not ready. The rest of the month of March slipped by. We were working on raising funds & continuing slowly to move forward inch by inch- including finishing our homestudy.

It was April 1st when I wrote in Josiah’s book: “we find that there was a mix-up, and Baby Girl #1 is not due until May 3, which means we could still be a potential family for her…” This news was so energizing. We went ahead & bought a carseat in order to be ready just in case. We sent in the application & got ‘officially’ approved. We kept working on fundraising. It is a long story (which I won’t to go into), but we knew that if we could just get one more document, we could file ammended tax returns & get back more than enough to pay the placement fee. Momma kept trying to push that through faster. We had thought before that the baby would be a boy but suddenly everyone had a ‘gut feeling’ that it was a girl. A few entrys later in Josiah’s book “We got [the document] today!!! … Yes! we are now a Baby Girl #1 potetial family!…” Birthmom was sceduled to have the baby on the 29th. I remember how long it seemed to take for that day to arrive. Sometime during those weeks was when I first fell in love with this baby. Strange how that could happen when ‘she’ was not even born yet. Finally the day arrived. I am sure it must have been rather comical, all of us sitting around all day staring at the phone. Of course the baby was born safely, and as I suspect you have all guessed it was not Baby Girl at all- it was Josiah. Not that weknew that at the time- we did not even find out he was a boy until two days after. So- now that I look back at the dates, it was only May 7th when Josiah’s birthmom first looked and the profiles, but you must understand- to us, those 8 days could not possibly be longer. J and birthmom’s counselor dropped the profile books- ours & another- by birthmom’s house at 9:00 on the 7, but it was not until the 14th that we found out who would be Josiah’s family. If we thought the first week after Josiah’s birth was long, this was way longer. We had kept a copy of our profile book here, and that book got looked at more times that one week than all the rest of its life put together- I guess we just wanted to remind ourselves what she was lookig at.

While we could not have been more excited about the possibility of having the priviledge of becoming the family of this sweet boy, our hearts hurt for birthmom. We could only imagine the deep pain she & her young children were going through during those weeks. We had heard some about her from J and were so touched by what a sweet woman she seemed to be, and how much she loved this little baby who (we did not know yet) would soon become ours.

At 2:29 on the 14 of May I wrote in Josiah’s book- in very bad hand which I can barely make out now-: “Mommas on the phone in her room w/ J right now and I think- I dont want to say what I think- Oh! Thank you so much God! What a kind father you are!…” You see, I had heard Momma’s end when she answered the phone (naughty Ellen to evesdrop so!) and I had heard her say “What?…” “No, tell me…” “Tell Me!!!…” “[undescribable gasp/sucking in of air sound]” “oh my gosh you’re joking!”, which Momma says is not what she would have planned to say. As soon as Momma got off the phone she called Daddy at work & then there was a shocked moment of wondering who to call now. Momma said what I was thinking – that there was that unspoken plan to call Mrs. Amber- and we couldn’t. That was a very hard moment. Finally Momma started dialing & it took off from there. We got an email from Josiah’s foster mom with our first pictures of him. This is the first of him we saw:

this is the first pic we saw of him

this is the first pic we saw of him

 

 

After that came a very long month of ups & downs & terrible longing for Josiah to come home.That was by far the hardest part- the waiting, the knowing that Josiah was growing every day living with another family, the emptiness, the longing to have him- the knowledge that sometimes he cried, and we could not comfort him.

Then came June 9th. This is what I wrote in his book: “[June 10th, 2008] The ups & downs of these last days have been a little bit much for me to write about- and so I have not been here in a time.

Things often don’t seem to go the way we planned them. In our plans, Josiah would have been with us a month or so ago when we wanted him so keenly. I still wonder, why? Why did God not bring him then? But I know, and am persuaded, that Gods perfect plan was for Josiah & us to be apart for that time… I know that patience worketh godliness… and I know that now, when prince Josiah is here with us, it doesn’t matter anymore. Yestreday was placement…”

I told about placement, but I’ll spare all the details here. Josiah coming home was not the end of his story, but it is all I can tell now. It was several more months of ups & downs & wondering (as I mentioned in part 2) if they did re-pos before the money finally came & we paid the ‘placement’ fee. Now there are the legal fees for the finalization in Dec. & his adoption will be something in the past. We are already wondering where the money to pay for that will come from. Haven’t we learned yet that God always provides? I cannot thank everyone enough: our friends who rallied around us, supported us, and helped bring Josiah home. You were some of Gods hands & feet in Josiahs story, the Mathenia family who God used in such a real & visible way to bring Josiah to us, and our great and Kind Father, who is so kind to His children- He is the one who provided everything we needed. He is the one who holds us up in the hard times & brings us to rivers of Joy. He is the one who blessed us beyond measure by putting this wonderful boy in our arms.

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Josiah is absolutely the sweetest baby on earth. I could never imagine living a better life here than the life God has blessed me to have. I cannot imagine any child more perfect for our family than Josiah. It makes me sad to think about all the people who miss out on so many wonderful children because they are ‘afraid of what it will do to their family’. When did a blessing become something to be afraid of? When did children become something to avoid? When did this happen?

Every day of our lives, Josiah adds that much extra Joy- and as Dr. Voddie Baucham said once referring to his (adopted) children “actually, there is this bonus BECAUSE they are adopted, because they joined our family the way we became a part of God’s family…”*** As I read back over what I have written, I realise that there is so much more that I forgot to put in- so many parts of Josiahs story that I forgot to put in. Maybe someday I will rewrite it, but for now this will have to do.

***I do not remember the exact quote & can’t look it up ’cause the DVD is at the Brandons. This is a paraphrase & I’m sure Dr. Baucham said it much better***